


Master Chef

by degreesofinsanity



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Bad Cooking, But he thinks he's great at cooking, Crack, Established Relationship, He does it for love, Hux is so bad at it, Just pure crack, Kylo suffers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 22:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7732069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/degreesofinsanity/pseuds/degreesofinsanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's their first anniversary and Hux cooks for Kylo. </p><p>Kylo just wants death to claim him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Master Chef

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by softhux from twitter! I hope this floats some boats.

First anniversaries were normally celebrated by couples, a cause for celebration that Kylo never really understood. For him, it was just another normal cycle on the Finalizer, the stormtroopers were going through their training, the officers on the bridge were doing their reports, and Hux was...Kylo frowned, where was Hux? He hadn’t spotted him on the bridge, nor had he seen him anywhere else he was supposed to be. Now that he thought about it, Hux had been acting rather strange lately these past few days. The general had gone planetside yesterday without telling him and had returned to his quarters with something vaguely organic in his arms, Kylo had asked him about it but the other just ignored him as if he wasn’t there. Hux had even told him a few days ago to not use the Force to peek into his mind without permission, not as if he would anyway. Maybe he was in his quarters?

Kylo made his way to Hux’s quarters, sensing something _wrong_ from inside, now concerned for his lover. “Hux?!” He Forced the door open, stepping inside and getting assaulted by a scent he could only describe as _unnatural_ , suddenly wishing he still had his mask to keep his face covered. It smelled like someone tried to boil a swamp with some random spices thrown in. “Hux, are you alright?” He said, voice muffled, covering his nose with his arm, walking into the small kitchen and finding Hux stood with his back turned to him, hunched over the stove.

“Oh, you’re back early, Kylo. I thought you’d return late, but I suppose this is fine as well.” Hux replied with a smile, turning around and Kylo recoiled, eyes wide.

Hux was wearing what looked to be a pink First Order apron and matching oven mitts, holding a tray of grey gunk. If Kylo were to describe it, the thing on the tray was like a large lump of glistening grey organic matter that was a bit green in some spots, a bone sticking out from one side, and were those _scales_? “Hux, what is that?” He asked after a moment of staring, feeling uncomfortable just looking at the stuff.

“Why, Kylo, it’s our first anniversary dinner! Don’t tell me you forgot?” Hux’s eyes narrowed at him, his gaze that promised death was even more terrifying with the odd purple steam coming from the gunk. “I didn’t! I just thought that you wouldn’t want to celebrate it.” Kylo sat down at the table, noticing now that it was already set with finery that was definitely not from the mess hall.

“Of course I would, it’s a special event, and I get to showcase my magnificent cooking skills.” Hux said with a huff, setting the tray on the table in between their plates, “Well? Go on, give it a try. It’s a famous recipe of mine, I call it, ‘The Special’. I don’t make it for just anyone, so you should feel ‘special’. Get it?”

Kylo laughed nervously and he poked the blob in front of him with the tip of his knife, poking a small hole on one of the fleshy domes. It released a cloud of noxious purple fumes, deflating a little, “Ugh, you’re ruining it, I’ll do it.” Hux rolled his eyes, using an ice cream scoop to put some on Kylo’s plate, the lump splattering onto it. Kylo swallowed, Hux watched him expectantly as he cut out a piece, hand trembling as he lifted the spoon to his lips, a mantra cycling in his head.

_I love Hux. I love Hux. This is why I’m doing this. I love Hux. I love Hux. I love Hux so much._

Kylo ate it and immediately felt like he was about to be sick, or dead. Either way. It was slimy and dissolved in his mouth, it tasted like fuel and death, and he felt like it moved on its own. He swallowed it with extreme difficulty, gripping the spoon so tightly he might have bent it a little, sweat trickling down his forehead, stomach turning.

“How was it?” Kylo heard the eagerness in Hux’s voice and couldn’t find it in him to tell his lover the truth. “It was...absolutely delicious.” He mustered up as much happiness as he could, setting his spoon down on his plate. Hux beamed at him, grabbing some for himself, “I know, right? I still remember how much my father liked it. He took a few bites and fainted from how delicious it was!” He said smugly, pausing, “Although he did pass away the next day.” Paling, Kylo cleared his throat, “Oh, that’s...I’m sorry for your loss.”

“No matter, he was able to taste my cooking before he went so that just means my cooking is to die for.” Hux laughed softly, Kylo joining in and taking a sip of water. “Well, I should be going back to my training…” The Force user said, trying to escape. “Kylo, are you seriously telling me you’d rather train than celebrate our anniversary with me?” The general hissed, Kylo reaching over to hold the older man’s hand in his own, “No, it’s not that...Fine, I’ll stay.” He replied, reaching out with the Force to his Knights, sending them a farewell message just in case he were to die.

“Now finish your meal, I went planetside on my own just to get the ingredients, so none of this should go to waste.” Kylo saw Hux eating the disgusting lumps without any problems, not even breaking a sweat. Taking a deep breath, Kylo continued to eat. With each bite he felt himself withering away, the taste and texture chipping at his determination to continue. Hux chattered away, even sucking on the spoon, and every time their eyes met and Kylo saw just how happy his lover was, his determination strengthened and he kept eating.

The last bite nearly made him cry in relief, setting the spoon down, wiping his lips and using all of his will to keep the food down in his stomach. It was over. “You liked it so much you ate every last bit.” Hux sounded amazed, “I’ll make it again for our next anniversary then.” Kylo didn’t even have the energy to reply, nodding weakly. The general got up, pressing a soft kiss on Kylo’s lips, smiling sweetly, “Don’t look so sad, love.”

“ _There’s still dessert._ ”

 

Kylo’s forehead banged against the table.

Death would be preferable. 


End file.
